Thanks Internet! Thunderous Thunder In Arlington

 

The last Thanks Internet! piece we ran dealt with the Oklahoma City Thunder. Now, this post is about actual Thunder.

On Sunday’s game between the Texas Rangers and the Minnesota Twins, everything was all peachy in the top of the forth, when all of a sudden, the loudest thunder you’ve probably ever heard in your life struck the ears of the players, fans, broadcasters, and viewers, scaring every single one of them to the point that the players on the field went into RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!! mode.

While this may not have been funny at the time for the people at the stadium, nobody got hurt, you know, cause nobody get’s hurt from thunder, so it’s downright hysterical seeing these reactions. Here’s a running commentary as we thank the Internet from bringing this to the attention of people outside of the Texas and Minnesota TV markets.

0:02 What a nice day at the park to sit down and watch a- (THUNDER STRIKES) OH NO THE WRATH OF THE GODS HAS DESCENDED UPON US!!! GRAB YOUR THUNDER BUDDIES!!! I REPEAT, GRAB YOUR THUNDER BUDDIES!!!!!!!

0:07 Some players choose to get out of Dodge and some don’t. The ones who do I like to think are the ones who reverted back to what they were taught in Little League, that when thunder comes, lighting is sure on the way.  And when you play in those little league parks surrounded by chain linked metal fences, they no longer become the barriers for play, but a baseball death trap. Don’t die in a baseball death trap*.

*Please read that sentence in the Don’t wake up in a roadside ditch voice. Thanks

0:21 You know that the thunder isn’t messing around that it’s so violent, it messes up the TV signal. That’s some powerful Ron Dayne there.**

**In the early 2000’s, Ron Dayne formed a backfield with Tiki Barber for the New York Giants that was called Thunder and Lightning, that fizzled out as soon as everyone in the league realized Dayne couldn’t cut it and Tiki was one of the best backs in the NFL. And yes, I forced that Ron Dayne joke into this article so badly but am I happy I did it. In case you forgot who Ron Dayne is, he’s that guy at the Heisman Trophy Award Presentation every year who’s got zero previous commitments preventing him from showing up.

0:36 The first time I watched this video, I wondered why the whole crowd wasn’t in mass panic to the exits. Everyone was just standing there. Those who are leaving their seats, which have metal in them, are doing so in way too calm a fashion. So much more hysteria was necessary.

0:48 The brave souls of Elvis Andrus, Adrian Beltre, Ian Kinsler, and David Murphy still remain in the infield, as they make fun of everyone who rushed off in fear as they laugh in the face of the thunder. Careful men, the gods don’t look fondly on hubris.

1:02 Beltre is shocked to see the tarp being unrolled. I guess they didn’t have chain link metal fences in the Dominican Republic when he started playing ball.

1:09 The thunder is so strong we can see the above the plate camera literally shake. We can also see which player is the least afraid of thunder. Answer: Ian Kinsler. Dude barely moves at second. Wins a lot of respect points in my book. Who’s pants should we check for brown stains? Answer: Josh Willingham, who drops to all fours while leading off first. Who gets a pass? Answer: Mike Napoli, considering the guy is wearing basically a suit of lightning-conducting catchers gear.

1:51 Andrus and Nelson Cruz are gonna get through this by laughing together #ThunderBuddiesForLife.

2:03 What Cruz and Andrus are saying: I don’t know. What I’d like to hope they’re saying: You can’t get me thunder cause you’re just God’s farts! Ppffhh!

2:09 They show the full speed reaction to everyone flinching one more time, but to set a new record on the Sports Download for Most Links in a Single Post, we present you with online media posting star @jose3030‘s combination clip he made of the players running off, synced to Nas’ Made You Lookwhich is quite humorous.

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